My parents have never thought to seek help to deal with my mental illness. Yeah, that’s good and all, but facts are facts. I just have to keep telling myself that nobody is worth my pain, and then I can finally get some rest. It depends on how you give and receive love. Can you go for a walk by yourself, just thinking and letting your imagination carry you along? Im just a big fat ugly person, my friend told me to ask someone out, but I got rejected, because Im ugly. Recently, I have accepted that it’s never going to change now (OK… I’m old… I admit it!). Puts me down at any second she gets on Facebook or on phone for no reason at all. Just talk about your lack of confidence. Why is this happening? The critical inner voice strongly influences feelings of isolation, loneliness and social anxiety, a subject you can learn more about here. but these awfull negative constant thoughts of inadequatecy are echoed in my brain on a regular basis. don’t mean I have to be friends with them or ever let them hurt me again .. but forgiven helps me to go to something better! i am in the same bote, i feel alone, no one likes me and i stay clear from social events just cause i have already decided that they will not like me anyway. Why are you sad Misster? I try very hard to please everybody all the time. In other words…how do you feel about yourself? Its very common to not find peers who are “exactly” like you. And when years later I found a partner, he too chose his mom over me. Annie: I was you. I really mean it, I don’t have family or relatives. I try to read and educate myself, increase my self esteem, be positive but nothing changes in my life. I’m 32 now but it nvr stopped. He can tell there’s something wrong with you.” When a friend doesn’t text us back right away, it says, “I wonder what she’s thinking. Well good luck to me. Well who knows but I do know it’s painful and it hurts always being alone & never having any family. To me, love is listening and talking honestly about stuff that matters. I really am not sure what to do next. I feel alone even when I’m surrounded by people…. My husband used to say I should kill myself. I’ve had social anxiety since as long as I can remember. Hi there idk if you will read it in this endless comment section but if u do, I have a very similar experience too except it was my dad. I think I need an personal psychiatrist that no one knows in my life. Sometimes it’s just the truth of who we are – we simply are truly that ugly, that unattractive, that less-than-100% perfect, that means people, especially men, don’t like us, won’t even give us the time of day, won’t even deign to spit on our shoes, because we’re not even enough to get past that first social hurdle of looks. I recently changed from giving money to my grandchildren for their birthday to taking them to something of their choice, movie etc., mainly to spend some time with them. It sounds like you’re writing about me! How about you? I pushed it aside for probably the first time ever and forced myself to read on knowing I was in desperate need of insight and relief. I had an awful unhappy childhood where both my parents didnt want me or loved me and one just didnt want to know me, but the other brought me up resentfully with a lot of cruelty. i can come across like the class clown, making people laugh and being silly until my demons start talking and then i feel like the loneliest person ever. Scott and Diane, wow, I can totally relate, I wish you both a solution or a remedy to your/our feelings and thoughts; because honestly life is beautiful we just need to see it through positive eyes, I wish I could sit here and just express my personal feelings and thoughts and experience but like a busy single mom/woman, I don’t have time, but I do wish you the best and keep your head looking forward, don’t hide or be ashamed for we all have a purpose in this world. I get angry and decide I’m going to say what I think but I don’t because I know it will backfire on me as it has in the past. Because of all this, I truly despise people. I did find the article true, though, if you listen to the critice, you won’t be yourself, and that can turn people off..(fulfilling a self-prophecy)..they may feel uncomfortable and not know how to react to it well. It’s a mystery, isn’t it? All I have control of is how I react or treat others, If they don’t reciprocate all I can do is stay on the high path and know someday that if I keep trying it will get better it’s not great but, there’s hope. In me, and I only have 3 ‘friends’ here, one is just a competitive jerk, the other is obsessed with herself, and the other is way too young and hyper. He is why I’m still here today…His love and mercy. I went through a divorce about 4 years ago — part of it, admittedly, my fault. I discovered how many family gatherings I was excluded from while going through the stuff in my late aunt’s apartment. Your email address will not be published. I’m all for going out or having drinks and dancing. How is my inner critic actually altering my behavior? If I say something about the phones, I’m criticized for being self-centered. Of males, a very large part of the nerdier/more quiet ones suffer from this at least part of their life! I am very tiered and lonely, don’t know how I need to change myself. People liked me so much, i was a popular person, but i just thought I am diffrent from others, I losed myself, I hated my self and after that people didnt like me too, they just say that you are unlikble right in front of me, at school, im 16, nobody likes me nobody loves me, and I refuse my parents, so they dont like me too, I wish I could understand the text but I am an english learner and I don’t know english this much well. Was right there with you, until you brought the whole ”god” thing into it. However, I can’t tell you my relationships changed. I think not being able to meet any guy who would show an interest in my really bothers me a lot. I have been told by many people who evidently just wanted to be malicious in the course of a disagreement we were having that “nobody likes you”. Makeup is my mask. My parents' never call..nobody came to my graduation, not even my parents, but the whole family was there for one of my other family members. nnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooo i dont need ANYYYYYY of thissssssssssss. I have tried every kind of literature and outogussestion but I feel nothing is helping me how I feel. I feel soo unwanted unloved and useless my husband has an OCD problem he fights with me everyday over household chores, he makes me feel like i can do nothing right. Your family is always there, you know that and some times, you do not even knowledge it, consequently it is not important or you do not feel them close to you. I suppose I will always be as I am, maybe the feeling I have about myself are ingrained just too deep. But I just dont know how to keep that momentum going once it starts to work. Don’t care who like me .. but I will be nice and love people the best I can. People do seem to dislike me a lot less if I interact with them in small doses. ! Some of the psychological effects of feeling lonely include focusing on exclusion instead of inclusion. It’s depressing. I am 60 years old, married, moved to warmer climate in a 55+ community hoping to meet people like me. I welcome challenges. Hi my name is Nini. My mother in law told me one time that I needed to take turns going to others holiday events since we were going to so many & it might’ve been cutting on her time & I thought about it & I said yeah that’d be great & I specified by saying they would be one year for Christmas, my mom one year & my dad another & she quickly told me no that wasn’t what she was talking about she wasn’t excluding them just my parents because I was the one that came from a split up you know broken home. I’m sad and cry all the time which doesn’t help heal. To see u winnin never give up and all ways A Way Out of Loneliness: How to Feel Less Isolated and Alone, Understanding Attachment: A Webinar Series, Dr. Sheldon Solomon on Stamping Out Children's Innate Curiousity, Psychalive - Psychology for Everyday Life. I feel traumatised by people at this point and would rather be alone . And usually she uses my business as a target for her attacks.. Are we the black sheep , I feel same as you ladies . The one person that helps me all the time is Dr Carolina leaf look her up on you tube she really has help me so much ! I always feel sad about myself. Yeah, right? There’s been few moments where people tell me bluntly that I’m a terrible person. Greg, i know i see myself as fat ugly sad pathetic and alone, useless nothing and a absolute f#%$ up I can’t really convey how I feel with a message but if your reading this i’m sorry for making you feel bad. We often hate things in other people that we unknowingly hate about ourselves. So she has clearly been trying to cultivate an abusive relationship towards me, while creating an impression to others that I have been abusive towards her. Thanks. My life should be great but all of a sudden I’m a bully when all I do it try and help. As Amy Poehler put it “Sticking up for ourselves in the same way we would one of our friends is a hard but satisfying thing to do. That’s how I feel lots of times. Tim, I’m jealous of people who are happier than me…. Leave your mom out for a while and see how she likes it. A woman saved my life and I repaid her by putting her in jail the next week. It mean that u are the best and nobody want When you are rejected by your family even your own kids all based on false accusations how can you ever change how you feel. Any contact that I have with them is because I initiate it. Give me some advices . “This feeling has almost no bearing in reality”. Alot of people see I'm not close with my family and blame me. I’m reading all of this and realizing that life just doesn’t work out for all of us huh. Find people that do like you. You may have helped brighten someone’s day just by smiling at them, or by doing the ‘right thing’. “You’re so boring. Once we accept that we come by this inner critic honestly, we can start to separate it from our real point of view. My heart breaks for you as I read your words. You are not the opinions of others, even your parents. There is an older person who told me that they were lonely and that they would miss me when I moved on to other ventures. Has anyone thought if everyone here became friends how many friends we would all have! Having a great job will not make you a happy person.If you are lonely without money,trust me you will be lonely with money…But loneliness is just a state of mind..You can be lonely in a room full of people and you can be happy alone as well. I have never had a friend. What to Do When You Feel Like No One Loves You. I just keep studying . That and being deep means we crave, intimate and meaningful relationships. Even if initially you wind up feeling embarrassed or not quite yourself when you act against your voice, you should remember to practice self-compassion. Vocalize or write down a reply to your critical inner voice. I just want a way to better understand myself, so I could better live my life. My voices are right about me,” remember that pretty much everyone feels this exact way at some point or another. Either that, or you have very poor social understanding and act in a way that makes people afraid of you etc. Remember how people at school would gather around a victim and bully them? Persistence is key. And the downward spiral begins. Your email address will not be published. I completely agree with you this article is great! Yes but there’s some of us that just don’t have no remedy, no matter how many articles like this we read we are a lost cause. Nobody is born with social skills, we all learn them from somewhere. Hot, and fun. Please know that you DO make a difference in this world…, I just recently moved away from home and started college. The problem I seem to have is they don’t mind if I’m not there either. Hans. Bloggers like you gave us new hope and go with the life. Also, if they were so lonely, why didn’t they respond to texts, calls, emails, or mail? laughs! Just saying.. what a great idea, I say yes. I feel like I’m hardly liked. Your relationship sounds alot like the last one I was in. What to Remember When You Feel Like No One Cares, When You Don’t Feel Good Enough to Be Loved, How to Stop Believing the “Nobody Loves Me” Lie, How Do You Talk to a Girl? So I understand the frustration. I Found out through facebook that 3 friends went out for the day and didn’t invite me even though they know I’m lonely so this has devastated me. It started from one “friend” who essentially began a smear & whisper campaign about me from the time I became a born again Christian. I almost would prefer to be invisible. no matter what i do.. there is this emptiness in me..cant seem to feel the void! I am a lonely person and I don’t have family members or relatives. I dont know if I using colorism on this forum is ok so I’ll keep it brief. Its very difficult to not feel defeated and keep putting yourself out there to meet more new people when its people who ultimately cause you so much pain. I don’t like to get out into crowds alone or go to church alone. I even pray i wasn’t alive. I know what most think about me, and it’s hard to disagree. She says I always badger her about my problems etc but yet she does it to me with her weight issues but I always listen and when she tells me to tell her how I’m feeling it’s like all I get back is all I care about is self. Having my brother join in did irreversible damage and this is where my self-hatred stems from. Love is the key to everything in the Universe — loving yourself, loving others, being loving and kind — all of it makes life so much easier. I WOUNDER IF THAT WRIGHT? I’m so grounded by negative thoughts and I feel that I have no control over it. If only I were even slightly pretty, maybe then I could start to get close to someone to stand the chance of them seeing me for me. I know it’s the opposite of an ideal situation, but somehow I happen to find your comment refreshing. Add to this the many other social experiences we had where we felt put down, shamed or rejected (a teacher who humiliated us in front of our class, a bully at school who put us down on a daily basis), and we can start to see how our inner critic took shape. I would join interest groups that i truly like/love such as hiking, singing, book reading, whatever your interests, but start with also that have a good ratio of both men and women. As an adult my efforts at friendship haven’t faired much better. I have a heck of a time connecting with people. You know the nerdy king, the engineers and computer scientists. Since I was a child It has been this way my whole life. Even resisting your feeling that no one loves you can make it stronger because you’re putting energy towards it. Get away from these sick crazy people. Loneliness is now a great friend and I also have those demons inside tormenting and torturing me always. I see people avoid me. They don’t even listen to me because “it’s just me” so something must be wrong with me. I can’t even word this to make my point because I tried meds for depression that left me a mess I found that when I was younger even though I was knowledgeable I asked opinions and listened that made me popular. I don’t have a job or really go near social situations. I’ve been thinking about love a lot lately. Not to rely on anyone… but sometimes it’s too hard to constantly be so strong. I have never had therapy and I personally don’t do drugs of any kind. Love -- kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship -- is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging…, One of the most fascinating things about working in psychology is the chance to explore the invisible forces that shape…, The tabloids and reality TV shows documenting the erratic, out-of-control behaviors associated with drinking and drugging may be giving us…, In our second Experts at Home conversation, Dr. Lisa Firestone talks with mindfulness expert Dr. Donna Rockwell. I always notice it’s the rude demanding people who always get noticed and have everyone trying to please them. When someone doesn’t make eye contact with us, it says, “See? 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Greatly from this same protocol as b deficiencies are all about mood and healthy brain unlikeable about me I! Thoughts change first wife was always “ tired ” after work and grand child really bothers me degree.
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